I just spent the last 30min in one of the biggest battles of my life

I fought with a lizard. Not just any lizard. A lizard’s whose tail length is as long as my palm.

Those who know me well know how FREAKED out i am by any lizards, insects etc of any kind.

Today, when i went into the other half of the shop, the puppies as usual were free roaming the place. I was taking some newspaper out of the box when i suddenly noticed something dart out behind the box. I was thinking to myself ” Don’t tell me its a lizard..” when…A HUMONGOUS LIZARD RAN OUT TOWARDS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started screaming my lungs out at this time, and the pups all noticed the commotion (duh). Panda was the first one to notice IT, and ran forward to investigate. By investigate, means try to pick it up. The lizard at this point is running left right and centre with all the other puppies chasing after it, as if it was some remote toy car. I am at the side screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!” and “SHERYLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!” My sis finally arrives and she calls the pups into one of the rooms while i am left to decide what the *beep* i will do with it.

By this time, the tail had detached off the lizard and was BOUNCING and MOVING on its own (which i know is a defense mechanism but is still disgusting) and the lizard was very much still alive. I had hoped the lizard died when Forrest pounced on it as if he was a cat, and the lizard a rat but alas..it was not to be.

I took out the broom and dustpan and tried to sweep the thing out the door. You could see it panting and the tongue kept flicking in and out. Was starting to feel sorry for it when it suddenly turned its head towards me and started running in my direction. The screams started again, with the dogs barking to be let out of the room to join in the commotion. My stress level was heightening. Was beating it down with the broom when it decided to go belly-up and surrender. Immediately took the chance and gave my Tiger Woods golf swing to fling it out the door. Gave another tiger woods worthy swing to sweep it down the staircase, and this repeated itself till i finally got it into the grass and into so called “freedom”

I went back upstairs. Happy with myself for having solved a problem. Went to get a drink to reward myself when i decided to look out the window to see how the lizard was doing and whether it had returned back to nature. Guess what i saw instead? I saw that &%*^&((^^%&*% lizard walking back into the building into the foyer!!!!! Can you imagine??? Why would it want to come back? I really don’t get it. In the end…i went back downstairs with my broom and with my super mighty swing, swung the thing back onto the path leading to the building, and down into the main drain.

I sure hope it stays there because if it comes back, i think i will let the puppies have a go.